literature

A Little Brighter

Deviation Actions

Published: Jan 5, 2014

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Literature Text

My blonde curls fell into my eyes as I sat on the stoop outside my apartment smoking a cigarette. I watched as the puff of smoke went into the night air, disappearing into the streetlight.

Looking up I strain my eyes to see the stars, but to no avail. The stars are hardly ever seen in the city because of the lights. Yet sometimes you can get a glimpse of them when they are bright enough, but not tonight. Tonight no one is shining.

I take another drag of my cigarette and I burn the ends of my hair. The putrid smell is pungent to my nose, but I don’t move or even put the end out; I just let my hair burn. I wish it would all go up in smoke, everything: my hair, my life, my soul. Without you I don’t feel myself, and I’m afraid that I never will.

“You shouldn’t litter you know,” an all too familiar voice says as I flick my cigarette into the street. I don’t have to look in his direction to know who it is, it’s him, it’s Dominic.

“What are you doing here Dom?” I ask still not looking up. He steps closer to me. His over 6 foot stature shadows me from the streetlight as he leans against the rails of the stairs.

“I came to see you silly,” he says seductively. I don’t have to look at him to know he’s smiling. His full lips curled into a devious smile and his green eyes twinkling down at me, wanting something I can’t give him, not any more.

I sigh as I grab my pack of cigarettes again and I hesitate before I offer one to him, because I know that by doing so he’ll stay longer, and I’ll have to look at him and I just don’t want to…. But I do. My red rimmed blue eyes look into his bright green one and he smiles at me as he takes what I am offering to him.

“Gracias, bonita,” he says as he slides next to me on the step. I hate it when he speaks Spanish to me. He knows I love it, and it always reminds me of when we used to make love.

I hand him my lighter after I light mine and our fingers touch. I can feel, almost see the spark between us and I know he felt it too. We’ve always had a ‘special’ connection, ever since the first time we met. We were the ‘it’ couple among our friends. No matter where we went people looked at us. Him with his height, perfectly tanned skin, bright green eyes and pitch black hair. And me with my porcelain white skin, dark blue eyes and snow white hair, we always made the room turn. But those days are in the past now. He no longer calls me his amado.

“I quit smoking after you left,” he said after in exhales.

I laugh with little humor behind it. “Funny, I started because of you.”

Silence falls between the two of us and for the first time he’s speechless and for the millionth time so am I. We sit in silence for what seemed like an eternity, the only thing either of us can hear are the sounds of the cars going by and our heartbeats.

After a few more moments he flicks his cigarette and so do I. I watch as he stretches his long limbs and I can feel his body heat open up to me and the only thing I can to do is curl up in his strong arms one more time. I want to hear his heart in my ear and feel his breath on my hair, but I know it’ll just hurt even more when he’s not there anymore.

“I’m sorry about how things ended between us Heather,” he finally says.

I feel my heart in my throat and I do everything I can not to cry, but I can feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes. He pulls my chin so that we are now looking eye to eye and I can feel the dam breaking. My tears start sliding down my cheeks without my permission, and I start to feel numb all over.

“I never meant to hurt you,” he whispers. I can see my hurt reflected in his eyes, and I wonder if he truly is sorry for what he had done, or if he’s just sorry he got caught.

I pull away from his grasp and shake my head. “I can’t keep doing this Dom,” I nearly sobbed. “You broke my heart and now you come here after months and think you can just apologize?”

I watch as he shakes his head. “I know, I know. I’m an idiot for showing up here at your place, but…” he trails off, not able to finish his sentence.

My impatience gets the better of me. “But what?”

He sighs after taking a deep breath. “I still love you,” he finally says after a long pause.

My eyes grew wide at his confession and I was left totally speechless. Silence fell between the two of us again, neither of us sure of what to do next. My heart sped up in my throat and for a moment I thought I was going to throw up or maybe pass out, neither or which I wanted to do.

“Say something amado,” he pleads with me, his green eyes begging for me to say something, anything.

I hesitate, not sure if I should tell him that I too still love him, but before I can think of another answer my mouth opens. “I still love you too. I always have.”

He beams down at me as he cups my face again. I close my eyes as I melt into his touch and I feel his full lips upon mine and fireworks go off inside my brain. He tastes like honey with a hint of cigarette, but I don’t care. I run my delicate fingers through his hair as his hands explore back, pulling my body closer to him.

We pull apart, both of us breathless and for the first time in what seemed like ages I smile and he smiles back at me. “I’ve missed you bella,” he purrs and I can’t help the giggle that escapes my lips.

“I’ve missed you too,” I whisper back.

We sit there for a few more moments holding each other in silence, in something that felt comfortable to both of us.

We part after a few more moments and the chill of the night air makes me shiver. “You should get inside,” he tells me and I start to feel my heart sink. “But I will be back tomorrow, if that’s okay with you,” he says as he cups my face one last time.

“Of course it’s okay,” I say as we both stand up. He kisses me one last time and I watch as he walks down the street, disappearing into the night.

I turn towards my apartment and start to head inside, but before I open the door I glance up toward the sky and I can see the stars twinkling down at me. It looks like things just got a little brighter.